My definitive guide to getting ready for a really good night out

Hello again loyal readers,

Contrary to my previous post I will not be writing "Why I think immigrants are good but also in some respects not good". I think it's a complicated topic so I'm going to spend at least a few more days on research.


Instead I shall be writing "My definitive guide to getting ready for a really good night out", this needs little research as I'm already good at it.


I have perfected a pre-night out routine that has proven to yield excellent results. There are several stages, all of which must be followed absolutely and in the exact order as written. 


Firstly, begin drinking. I like to be the first person in the club so that I can warm up on the dance floor before the amateurs get in. This means I set off at about quarter to 9. For this reason I begin pre drinks at about 7.30. I pencil in enough time for at 3 coronas. Sometimes to spice things up I drink a glass full at once, I made this video to show you it can be done:





I then move on to step 2, limbering up. I am renowned for my cool dance moves, so it is essential that I am in peak condition as soon as I get to the club (I like to get dancing straight away  so that everyone gets a look at the Price). I have a few different activities that I use: Doing 10 lunges, yoga, street dance 3D, gymnastics  etc etc.



Yesterday night I chose football.




It's important to add at this point, all of these photos are taken using a self timer and putting my cannon s90 on a pile of good house kepping magazines to get the height right. This is because you should always get ready for a really good night out alone. Personally I like to spend the whole night going solo so that no one detracts from my dance moves.




The third step is dressing appropriately. If you followed my previous advice on how to be cool you'll be well aware that indie is really cool atm. For this reason I recommend (and always wear):

• Skinny jeans
• Fake Fred Perry t shirt (economical and cool)
• Pointy boots (people will say they look stupid but don't worry, everyone apart from you is wrong)

At this point you're pretty much ready for a really good night out. I used this formula on Friday and it was ILL.  I danced for maybe 4 hours and saw a lot of people looking at my moves. I really got in to the zone and finally finished the development of "The Price" move, see diagram.

It's currently in beta test phase but I think it will be ready for frequent use soon.

That brings us to the end of the guide, you're now ready to have a really good night out. I'll post a review of my latest night out soon.

Email me on "priceypartyplanners@hotmail.com" if you would like my professional help in having a really good night out, but try and call at least a week in advance as I have a very busy agenda.


Thank you for reading and come back soon to read "Why bullet points are important and often undervalued"


Yours,
Smart Price

How I stay cool despite having a few problems with my life

Hello readers.

As promised here is a post about how I stay cool despite having a few problems with my life.

I think the most important thing I do to stay cool is to give myself a strict genre and stick to it. I chose "Indie" because I understand it's pretty cool atm. To pull this move off I listened to the smiths on repeat for 3 and a half hours and bought some skinny jeans amongst other attire. Being at the forefront of fashion can be a risky business but my motto is "If Morrisey does it, you can do it"

Secondly, I have inspired those around me to use a nickname. I have suggested (and continue to suggest) the following:

• Pricey
• Smart Price
• Price Cream
• The Price is Right
• Asda Price
• Cool Price
• Price Drop
• Vanilla Price

The list goes on. If you have any suggestions message me and I'll add them to the list. Nicknames are incredibly important, just look at Dr Dre, Eminem, Hulk Hogan, The Fonz, The Yorkshire Ripper, The Hoff, Spiderman etc etc. All great people, all with nicknames.

Thirdly, I stay cool by frequently doing social excursions, yesterday I went to the pub. It was good weather so I sat outside with my pints. I don't like going to the bar often so I bought three at once, this does mean that the second and third pints are quite warm, but it's worth it to avoid gong to the bar so often.

It's important that when you're out you get some evidence so that people know you've been out. I was at the pub on my own so got some people on the table next to me to takes this:

That was my second pint and I was feeling pretty tipsy at this point lol.
When at the pub I make a point of doing little. I avoid reading the paper or talking to people too much so that I can maintain an air of mystery about me.

The pub is a great place to advertise my blog so i left a couple of flyers for Pricey's Place on the tables and put a poster up in both the mens and ladies toilets.

That's all for today. I hope you can take something from this post and in some way make yourselves a little bit cooler.

Next blog will be entitled " Why I think immigrants are good but also in some respects not good"

Yours, Price Cream

The election

As promised here is my post about who i think should have won the election.

A lot of people got confused about the recent election - "I'm confused about the recent election" they would say.

Well here's my thoughts, Labour.

On Tuesday I went to see "The disappearance of Alice Creed" - it was good. It's the story of a girl/young lady who gets kidnapped by two gays. The two gays plan to get a ransom for her so they can live in Brighton together.  There's a great scene where they're doing DIY, I felt I could identify with that because I occasionaly do DIY myself, here's a photo of a chair I made. It took the best part of three weeks and cost me £43 in materials/tools.



I hope you have enjoyed this blog, visit again soon, next blog will be entitled "How I stay cool despite having a few problems with my life"

Welcome to my blog!

For some time now I've been meaning to start a blog. I'm sick of people not hearing what I have to say.

I often stop and think, there are some stupid people who get heard all the time, and I here I am, of relatively high intelligence, still left in the dark, much like Descartes (before his death !).

This blog is going to act as a medium for my thoughts and theories.

I already have a few posts in mind.

Tommorow I shall write about who i think should have won the election and why.

Then I shall discuss immigration and what we should do about it.

After that I'll move on to what I think about video games and their effect on society.

I'll then continue to discuss current affairs as they arise, interspersed with some introspective posts about my feelings.

Anyone who knows me will be prepared for many lols along the way and tales of my drunken antics lolollollol :P

That's it for now, visit tomorrow to hear what I thought of the election.

Joe xx