"Yes", I often reply.
This is no accident or series of awesome coincidences, in fact everything I do is done in an attempt to constantly entice the ladies.
I'm going to share some of my steps on how to do so within this blog. I'm only going to talk about the ones that amateurs could pull off as I'm aware I could be liable if injuries occur during trying out some more complex manoeuvres.
Step 1 - Dress really cool.
Some people undervalue this step entirely and dress normally, or just cool. The trick is to dress really cool. I've mentioned on several accounts that indie is really cool atm so I suggest going down this route. I've picked out an ideal outfit here.
This attire is perfect for enticing the ladies. The fake Fred Perry T shirt (hereafter referred to as fake perry) is ideal for showing off my guns. Also at first glance it appears to be an expensive Fred Perry T shirt, suggesting I've got dollar.
For further info see my blog on how I stay cool despite having a few problems in my life.
Step 2 - Be in the right place to commence enticement.
Location is very important, even I struggle to entice the ladies in places such as:
- Toll booths
- Churches
- Driving test centres
- Burn wards
- The moors
The above places should be avoid at all costs where enticing ladies is concerned.
Instead I would recommend
- Mothers meetings
- Night clubs
- Book clubs
- Court
- School sports days
I have had high success at all of these places. With regards to the second suggestion you may want to consult my post on preparing for a really good night out
Step 3 - Conversation
I've found that the ladies love to talk. Often I'll talk to a girl for up to 8 - 9 minutes. Don't worry, I know what you're thinking, "That's madness", "I only have 4 minutes of material" etc etc.
Worry no more. Here's concise bullet pointed list of ideal lady enticing convo.:
- I like your denim jacket ( an ideal opener. V. convenient as 80-90 % of girls wear denim jackets all the time)
- I love the kooks, don't you ?
- What's your name ?
- Cool. my name is Vanilla Price (interchange your name here, chicks dig nicknames)
- *Discuss the kooks some more*
At this point it's best to end the conversation and leave them wanting more. Most people say bye or seeya or something to that effect, I prefer just to start dancing and ignore what they say until they leave, this really gives them a sense that I've got better things to do.
Now I know what you're thinking "Wow Big P, that's great! But I can't have pricey's place with me all the time!". Well firstly you're wrong , you can view my blog on a smart phone. But for those of you that don't have a smart phone (lolol) I've made these handy print outs:
If all else fails try the emergency line:
I've hit a 37% success rate with this line and it often leads to touching for an extended period of time
Now I still know what you're thinking, "Wow, thanks P Dizzle, but won't it look unusual if I keep looking at cards?" - Cease worrying friends, I've got you covered. Simply glue this to the back of the cards:
You won't look weird now as quite a lot of people are bound to have these.
It's a little known fact that Pricey's Place ID cards were once planned to be a national scheme, it got to a test phase in Greater Manchester but the change of government stopped it in its tracks. Swines.
That brings me to the end of the blog. Report any success stories to PriceyIPulled@hotmail.com .
Thank you for reading and make sure you join my facebook group and twitter.
Click Share to share my blog on facebook. I'd really appreciate it, I'm trying to make a name for myself in internet journalism.
Come back soon for a blog entitled "Why I don't like video games and hence think they should be discouraged more thoroughly, especially by parents with young children"
Yours,
JP
