Nokia N95 Review

Good day readers.

Thank you for coming back to read my review of my new Nokia N95.

I'm compelled to write a review of this phone as i have become very accustomed to using it. I can often be seen on my mobile phone:

• Calling the ladies
• Discussing new marketing statergies for my blog with my friend
• Being called by the ladies
• Calling The Friendship Group to arrange an activity 
• Discussing current indie issues in telephone chat rooms ( There are no chat rooms for discussing indie, so I often have to join dating chat rooms and try and turn the conversation towards indie)

etc etc.

I bought my N95 not long ago from the popular auction website ebay. I paid a cool £165 for it, saving £135 compared to buying a £300 TV instead of a phone.

Features:

The N95 has some great features. It has built in GPS software which i find really useful. I don't drive but I like to have someone to tell me which way I should walk. This saves me a lot of time when I'm in one topman and need to get to an alternate store to find which has the tightest jeans (for me to buy and subsequently wear).

It is a very multimedia capable phone. I have all of the smiths' albums on it as well as 300+ photos of Morrisey and Ian Curtis. This means that in any situation I can have a bit of an indie sesh. I find this can be great for when I need to chill in an emergency.
It can also record video, here's an example 

It also has good internet connectivity. This makes it ideal for keeping people updated with my twitter, you can find it here. I find twitter really useful for when I have a moment of genius that needs to be shared with the World.Recent tweets include:

• MESSY NIGHT . Motorways rule for being quick. P .
• last day of college, pretty emotional time for me. Might write a blog about it to avoid bottling up my feelings again.

One feature that I don't personally appreciate is the selotape battery cover. I understand it is important to make phones small and light but I think the benefits of a battery cover made from plastic are notable. This feature means to remove the battery one has to have more selotape to hand. It also means that the user can get mild electric shocks from time to time.

Further to this I have also found that I have received some much better phone calls with different phones. With my old 3210 I got a phone call once telling me I'd won a poetry competition for my sonnet about the kooks, however with this phone, no such calls. Some people may say you can't blame the phone for the calls that you receive on it, but I would just like to see Nokia think about how they might be able to get some nicer calls going to their phones.

In conclusion, the Nokia N95 does have some flaws, however these are greatly outweighed by a wealth of features that are essential accessories to any man about town (like me). 

Overall I give this phone 7 out of 10 P's!

Stay tuned in future for more reviews and come back soon to read "My thoughts on the last day of college and where my life is going."

Don't forget to join my facebook group 

The Priceminister

A brief history of some of my antics

Friends, forgive me. I have once again had a change of heart about the topic of my next blog.

Please direct your attention to the title, which I believe will inform you of the topic of this post. I think this post will be a milestone in my internet journalism career. I have blogged several times giving advice on how to make oneself cooler. I think with the  support  of some personal anecdotes we can make a lot of progress. Before continuing, here is the dictionary definition of "antics":

noun

Usually, antics.

1. a playful trick or prank; caper.

2. a grotesque, fantastic, or ludicrous gesture, act, or posture.

Anyone who knows me will be aware that I have an antic at least once a week, and most of these are pretty good. Very occasionally though I'll have/do an antic that is worthy of making the history books.

What follows is a list of such recent antics:

1. Pole dancing on a lamp post

This happened on a recent night out with The Friendship Group (my group of closest friends hereafter referred to as The FG). One of The FG dared me to pole dance on a lamp post and I obliged for 2 reasons. Firstly, there are some complex rules within The FG concerning dares and I didn't want to breach any of them. Secondly, I'd already had at least 2 coronas so was up for anything. 

To this day I don't know who the other person in this photo is. I had been dancing for 2 minutes or so and he just came over. It has been suggested that my moves were working in a similar way to a magnet (except attracting that guy instead of metal). I carried on dancing for maybe another 3 minutes and then went home because the apprentice was on.

This antic got some pretty good reviews and gained me quite a bit of street cred with The Friendship Group.

Please note that the stranger didn't have a blurry face, I used my photoshop skills to protect his identity (this blog is read by a lot of people and I don't want any copyright claims etc etc.)





2. Making this face when I was getting my blue WKD

This was quite a recent antic and recieved many lols.

I had just gone to the bar to get my second blue WKD and thought it was prime opportunity for an antic. I bit the bullet and went for the face you can see on the photo. This photo wasn't actually taken at the time of the antic. No one had there camera ready  so once I had done it once I told someone to be ready to take a photo and did it again. The timing was off a few times and on one the flash didn't work, so this is actually the 6th photo we took.

I thought it was a pretty good photo so sent it to a graphic designer. For a small fee they made me these which I now have blu tacced on my wall:

This one wasn't photoshopped and is real:

A prime example of me enticing the ladies, see blog.

This brings me to the end of this post, although I will revisit this topic at a later date. Come back soon to read my review of my Nokia N95 mobile phone.

Join my facebook page

Yours, Priceless

My definitive guide to enticing the ladies

My friend often says to me, "Wow Vanilla P, did you see how those ladies just looked at you ?"

"Yes", I often reply.

This is no accident or series of awesome coincidences, in fact everything I do is done in an attempt to constantly entice the ladies.

I'm going to share some of my steps on how to do so within this blog. I'm only going to  talk about the ones that amateurs could pull off as I'm aware I could be liable if injuries occur during trying out some more complex manoeuvres.

Step 1 - Dress really cool.

Some people undervalue this step entirely and dress normally, or just cool. The trick is to dress really cool. I've mentioned on several accounts that indie is really cool atm so I suggest going down this route. I've picked out an ideal outfit here.

I would like to reiterate at this stage that pointy boots are really cool. There are some people who disagree but they're all wrong. The important thing is that you get the results and I often see guys in pointy boots hanging around with a whole group of girls, most of  the time he seems to be only guy there.

This attire is perfect for enticing the ladies. The fake Fred Perry T shirt (hereafter referred to as fake perry) is ideal for showing off my guns. Also at first glance it appears to be an expensive Fred Perry T shirt, suggesting I've got dollar.






For further info see my blog on how I stay cool despite having a few problems in my life.





Step 2 - Be in the right place to commence enticement.

Location is very important, even I struggle to entice the ladies in places such as:

• Toll booths
• Churches
• Driving test centres
• Burn wards
• The moors

The above places should be avoid at all costs where enticing ladies is concerned.

Instead I would recommend

• Mothers meetings
• Night clubs
• Book clubs
• Court
• School sports days

I have had high success at all of these places. With regards to the second suggestion you may want to consult my post on  preparing for a really good night out

Step 3 - Conversation

I've found that the ladies love to talk. Often I'll talk to a girl for up to 8 - 9 minutes. Don't worry, I know what you're thinking, "That's madness", "I only have 4 minutes of material" etc etc.

Worry no more. Here's concise bullet pointed list of ideal lady enticing convo.:

• I like your denim jacket ( an ideal opener. V. convenient as 80-90 % of girls wear denim jackets all the time)
• I love the kooks, don't you ? 
• What's your name ?
• Cool. my name is Vanilla Price (interchange your name here, chicks dig nicknames)
• *Discuss the kooks some more*

At this point it's best to end the conversation and leave them wanting more. Most people say bye or seeya or something to that effect, I prefer just to start dancing and ignore what they say until they leave, this really gives them a sense that I've got better things to do.

Now I know what you're thinking "Wow Big P, that's great! But I can't have pricey's place with me all the time!". Well firstly you're wrong , you can view my blog on a smart phone. But for those of you that don't have a smart phone (lolol) I've made these handy print outs:

If all else fails try the emergency line:

I've hit a 37% success rate with this line and it often leads to touching for an extended period of time

Now I still know what you're thinking, "Wow, thanks P Dizzle, but won't it look unusual if I keep looking at cards?" - Cease worrying friends, I've got you covered. Simply glue this to the back of the cards:

You won't look weird now as quite a lot of people are bound to have these.

It's a little known fact that Pricey's Place ID cards were once planned to be a national scheme, it got to a test phase in Greater Manchester but the change of government stopped it in its tracks. Swines.

That brings me to the end of the blog. Report any success stories to PriceyIPulled@hotmail.com .

Thank you for reading and make sure you join my facebook group and twitter.

Click Share to share my blog on facebook. I'd really appreciate it, I'm trying to make a name for myself in internet journalism.

Come back soon for a blog entitled "Why I don't like video games and hence think they should be discouraged more thoroughly, especially by parents with young children"

Yours,

JP

Why bullet points are important and often undervalued

Hello fans of me. Today I am going to regale you with what I think of the bullet point.

There are many a reason why bullet points are useful:

• They make you sound more intelligent
• They put things in neat lists
• They save time on using connectives like "and" and "also"

The list goes on :

• They save space, if you don't have much space
• They are a good substitute to numbered lists, when numbers aren't appropriate

That brings me to the end of my list.

I find that bullet points can be used in many situations, here are a few ideas:

• Exams, for instance, instead of writing in continuous prose as many mugs insist on doing, you can save both yours and your examiners time by listing all the facts you can remember in a bullet pointed list. Use caution though, it is frowned upon if you list all the facts you know. The majority of exams I have come across are categorised by subject.
• Official letters. Again rather than being a mug and writing letters/emails out in full paragraphs, save time by using bullet shaped points.
• Blogs, perfect example lollolol.
• Conversation (See example below)

Example bullet point conversation:

• Hello 
• Fine weather
• Nice shirt
• I love the kooks, don't you ?
• Farewell

I spend at least 3 -  5 minutes a day conversing with people. I can often cut this down to 1 - 2 minutes by talking to them as if I was using bullet point. That's a cool 1 - 4 minute saving that I spend:

• Blogging
• Practising dancing
• Watching old interviews of The Happy Mondays on youtube
• Thinking about the future
• Finding things on the internet to lol at

There are however some places where bullet point conversations aren't appropriate:

• Court cases
• Domestic arguments
• Debating boundaries of towns/villages ( v. important issue)
• When talking to government officials
• When blogging about why immigration is good but also in some respects not good (still to come)

That's all for now. Before I go make sure you have a look at my new merchandise below. Email me at PriceysFace@hotmail.com to place your orders.

Come back soon to read "My definitive guide on how to entice the ladies"

Regards, Price Krispie

My definitive guide to getting ready for a really good night out

Hello again loyal readers,

Contrary to my previous post I will not be writing "Why I think immigrants are good but also in some respects not good". I think it's a complicated topic so I'm going to spend at least a few more days on research.


Instead I shall be writing "My definitive guide to getting ready for a really good night out", this needs little research as I'm already good at it.


I have perfected a pre-night out routine that has proven to yield excellent results. There are several stages, all of which must be followed absolutely and in the exact order as written. 


Firstly, begin drinking. I like to be the first person in the club so that I can warm up on the dance floor before the amateurs get in. This means I set off at about quarter to 9. For this reason I begin pre drinks at about 7.30. I pencil in enough time for at 3 coronas. Sometimes to spice things up I drink a glass full at once, I made this video to show you it can be done:





I then move on to step 2, limbering up. I am renowned for my cool dance moves, so it is essential that I am in peak condition as soon as I get to the club (I like to get dancing straight away  so that everyone gets a look at the Price). I have a few different activities that I use: Doing 10 lunges, yoga, street dance 3D, gymnastics  etc etc.



Yesterday night I chose football.




It's important to add at this point, all of these photos are taken using a self timer and putting my cannon s90 on a pile of good house kepping magazines to get the height right. This is because you should always get ready for a really good night out alone. Personally I like to spend the whole night going solo so that no one detracts from my dance moves.




The third step is dressing appropriately. If you followed my previous advice on how to be cool you'll be well aware that indie is really cool atm. For this reason I recommend (and always wear):

• Skinny jeans
• Fake Fred Perry t shirt (economical and cool)
• Pointy boots (people will say they look stupid but don't worry, everyone apart from you is wrong)

At this point you're pretty much ready for a really good night out. I used this formula on Friday and it was ILL.  I danced for maybe 4 hours and saw a lot of people looking at my moves. I really got in to the zone and finally finished the development of "The Price" move, see diagram.

It's currently in beta test phase but I think it will be ready for frequent use soon.

That brings us to the end of the guide, you're now ready to have a really good night out. I'll post a review of my latest night out soon.

Email me on "priceypartyplanners@hotmail.com" if you would like my professional help in having a really good night out, but try and call at least a week in advance as I have a very busy agenda.


Thank you for reading and come back soon to read "Why bullet points are important and often undervalued"


Yours,
Smart Price

How I stay cool despite having a few problems with my life

Hello readers.

As promised here is a post about how I stay cool despite having a few problems with my life.

I think the most important thing I do to stay cool is to give myself a strict genre and stick to it. I chose "Indie" because I understand it's pretty cool atm. To pull this move off I listened to the smiths on repeat for 3 and a half hours and bought some skinny jeans amongst other attire. Being at the forefront of fashion can be a risky business but my motto is "If Morrisey does it, you can do it"

Secondly, I have inspired those around me to use a nickname. I have suggested (and continue to suggest) the following:

• Pricey
• Smart Price
• Price Cream
• The Price is Right
• Asda Price
• Cool Price
• Price Drop
• Vanilla Price

The list goes on. If you have any suggestions message me and I'll add them to the list. Nicknames are incredibly important, just look at Dr Dre, Eminem, Hulk Hogan, The Fonz, The Yorkshire Ripper, The Hoff, Spiderman etc etc. All great people, all with nicknames.

Thirdly, I stay cool by frequently doing social excursions, yesterday I went to the pub. It was good weather so I sat outside with my pints. I don't like going to the bar often so I bought three at once, this does mean that the second and third pints are quite warm, but it's worth it to avoid gong to the bar so often.

It's important that when you're out you get some evidence so that people know you've been out. I was at the pub on my own so got some people on the table next to me to takes this:

That was my second pint and I was feeling pretty tipsy at this point lol.
When at the pub I make a point of doing little. I avoid reading the paper or talking to people too much so that I can maintain an air of mystery about me.

The pub is a great place to advertise my blog so i left a couple of flyers for Pricey's Place on the tables and put a poster up in both the mens and ladies toilets.

That's all for today. I hope you can take something from this post and in some way make yourselves a little bit cooler.

Next blog will be entitled " Why I think immigrants are good but also in some respects not good"

Yours, Price Cream

The election

As promised here is my post about who i think should have won the election.

A lot of people got confused about the recent election - "I'm confused about the recent election" they would say.

Well here's my thoughts, Labour.

On Tuesday I went to see "The disappearance of Alice Creed" - it was good. It's the story of a girl/young lady who gets kidnapped by two gays. The two gays plan to get a ransom for her so they can live in Brighton together.  There's a great scene where they're doing DIY, I felt I could identify with that because I occasionaly do DIY myself, here's a photo of a chair I made. It took the best part of three weeks and cost me £43 in materials/tools.



I hope you have enjoyed this blog, visit again soon, next blog will be entitled "How I stay cool despite having a few problems with my life"

Welcome to my blog!

For some time now I've been meaning to start a blog. I'm sick of people not hearing what I have to say.

I often stop and think, there are some stupid people who get heard all the time, and I here I am, of relatively high intelligence, still left in the dark, much like Descartes (before his death !).

This blog is going to act as a medium for my thoughts and theories.

I already have a few posts in mind.

Tommorow I shall write about who i think should have won the election and why.

Then I shall discuss immigration and what we should do about it.

After that I'll move on to what I think about video games and their effect on society.

I'll then continue to discuss current affairs as they arise, interspersed with some introspective posts about my feelings.

Anyone who knows me will be prepared for many lols along the way and tales of my drunken antics lolollollol :P

That's it for now, visit tomorrow to hear what I thought of the election.

Joe xx